Foot-in-mouth disease BBC Three The 7 O'Clock News 27/02/04

Everyone has experienced foot-in-mouth disease: that dreadful moment when you say exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. Fortunately, most of us aren’t in the media spotlight and can usually back-pedal our way out of any awkwardness.

But for people in the public eye, when the tongue starts wagging before the brain’s in gear, the consequences aren’t just horribly embarrassing - they’re also spread all over the media for the whole world (or, at least, the whole country) to see. Which raises the question: how many times has Liberal Democrat MP Jenny Tonge slapped her forehead and uttered a Homer Simpson-style “Doh!” this week?

Here’s what she said about Palestinian suicide bombers: "I think if I had to live in that situation - and I say that advisedly - I might just consider becoming one myself." Cue a long silence with tumbleweeds rolling past.

Inevitably, Ms Tonge has been accused of condoning violence, perpetuating victims’ suffering and giving the ‘green light’ to terrorism. Perhaps she’ll find some consolation in the fact that she’s joined an international team of the high and mighty, all of whom have distinguished themselves with similarly ill-advised utterances. Here’s a selection of the star players:

Bad hair day
John Prescott is famous for telling it like it is. Sometimes, though, it’s better not to say it at all. A few years back, he was campaigning to persuade drivers to use their cars more sensibly. Unfortunately, he was spotted travelling just 200 yards in a car from a hotel to the Labour Party conference. His explanation: "The wife does not like her hair blown about."

In hot water
Mel Lastman, Mayor of Toronto, dropped a loud clanger before leaving for Kenya in 2001 to promote Toronto's bid for the 2008 Olympics. He confessed: "Why the hell do I want to go to a place like Mombassa? I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me."

Toronto’s bid was unsuccessful and - surprise, surprise - Mr Lastman got the blame.

Anyone left to insult?
Jerry Falwell, a minister from the state of Virginia, was being interviewed on television when he decided to wax lyrical over the events of 9/11. He blamed feminists, homosexuals and abortionists for the attack. Later that day he apologised. Then, just a few weeks later, the foot got firmly lodged in the mouth once again: "I think Muhammad was a terrorist."

If you think causing offence to feminists, homosexuals, abortionists and Muslims is the limit of his abilities, think again. He also denounced Tinky Winky, the British Teletubby, for being gay.

Why aren’t you laughing?
The Duke of Edinburgh is the prince of the faux pas. His sense of humour is… well, perhaps ‘unique’ is the kindest word.

• He asked a Scottish driving instructor: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?"
• He told British students in China: "If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed."
• He asked a Kenyan woman: “You are a woman, aren’t you?”
• And referring to an old-fashioned fuse box in a factory, he said: "It looks as if it was put in by an Indian."

Priceless.

Don’t mention the war
Silvio Berlusconi, the Italian Prime Minister, appears to have taken lessons from Prince Philip. His monumental blunders are in the same vein. To German MEP Martin Schulz, he said: "I know that in Italy there is a man producing a film on Nazi concentration camps - I shall put you forward for the role of Kapo (a guard chosen from among the prisoners). You would be perfect."

In addition to the Germans, he’s so far managed to offend the Finns, his fellow Italians and Islam in its entirety.

Just between you and me…
George W. Bush is an absolute goldmine of absurd and nonsensical remarks but his words are more often amusingly bizarre than offensive. He did, however, indulge in a monumental gaffe when he pointed out a journalist to Vice-President Dick Cheney. Completely overlooking the fact that there was a microphone right under his nose, he declared that the guy was a “major league asshole from the New York Times”. By that evening, his opinion was being broadcast on American television every ten minutes.

Keep it in the family
His dad, though, was in a different class. When George Bush, Sr. was touring Auschwitz, he observed: "Boy, they were big on crematoriums, weren't they?"

Ouch.