At Henderson's sentencing trial April 5, 1999, appearing solemn and wearing gray pants and a light gray shirt, he rose and made a brief apology to Shepard's parents. "I hope you never experience a day or night without experiencing the terror, humiliation, hopelessness and helplessness my son felt that night," Judy Shepard told him through her tears. "He was my son, my first born, but more, he was my friend, my confidant, my constant reminder of how good life can be," she said. Dennis Shepard described Matthew as a son "blind to people's differences," a friend to people of all nationalities, religions and lifestyles. "Who will be their friend now? " he asked Henderson. Recalling moments from his son's child hood, Shepard described how he taught Matthew to sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat," "Frere Jaques," and "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Turning to face Henderson at his sentencing he said: "You, Mr. Henderson, sank the boat, ruined Jaques and shot down the star." Judge Jeffrey Donnell told Henderson he did not believe he (Henderson) was truly sorry for the "savage and brutal" crime. "Quite frankly the court does not believe you really feel a true sense of remorse for your role in this matter." Prosecutor Cal Rerucha said after the hearing, "My hope is that Russell Henderson will die in the Wyoming State penitentiary. "

In a March, 1999 interview with Vanity Fair, Judy Shepard discussed that while Matthew was on vacation in Morocco during his senior year in high school, a gang there raped him. "He was never the same after Morocco, " his mother said. "And neither were we. We were always worried about his physical safety and his mental state. It seemed to him it was taking forever to feel safe. "

The Vanity Fair article also reported that Matthew tested HIV-positive in the hospital after the October attack. Mrs. Shepard said that since her son was raped in Morocco, he had been tested periodically for HIV and the results had been negative. The magazine article did not give any sources other than the interview with Mrs. Shepard. Albany County Coroner Julie Heggie told The Associated Press that she had no information about whether Matthew was HIV-positive. "I know that's not in the autopsy report, " Heggie said.

In the Vanity Fair issue, Mrs. Shepard said that her son had suffered periodic clinical depression and had been taking an antidepressant and an anti-anxiety drug. She described her son as a sometimes-naive young man who was often too trusting for his own good. "It's a very frightening concept as a parent that your son now becomes a martyr, a public figure for the world. He's just our son, " Mrs. Shepard stated. She said she was disturbed that some sympathizers had compared her son to Jesus Christ. "You must understand, it's like putting him on a pedestal that just won't work. I'm concerned that if people find out he wasn't a saint, they'll be disappointed or angry or hate him, " Mrs. Shepard declared.

Friend Walter Boulden said Shepard's parents knew of his sexual orientation, but "I don't know how accepting they are of it, and I think that's been and issue between them, and I think it's something they're really going to struggle with. "

In May, 1999, Judy Shepard spoke before an U.S. Senate Panal to urge passage of a hate crimes legislation. "I will never again experience Matt's laugh, his wonderful hugs, his stories, " she said. "I know this measure is not a cure-all, and it won't stop all hate violence. But it will send the message that this senseless violence is unacceptable and un-American. My son Matthew was the victim of a brutal hate crime, and I believe this legislation is necessary to make sure no family again has to suffer like mine, " Shepard testified through choked emotions.

In a search for solace and for a meaning to this tragedy, a Washington D.C. based gay lobbying group known as Human Rights Campaign (HRC) unveiled two public service announcements Thursday (Sept. 14, 1999) featuring Judy Shepard. In the spots, Judy Shepard tells viewers that they should "choose to understand... In a perfect world, because your child is gay, you don't worry about their safety. You just worry about them being happy. " The spots were presented at a luncheon in Los Angeles honoring Judy Shepard, and arrived at stations September 20 and began airing in October, nearly a year after Matthew's death. HRC and the Matthew Shepard Foundation produce them.

Jury selection in the Aaron McKinney trial began Monday, October 11, 1999 with opening statements and the actual trial began Monday, October 25, 1999. The jury was made up of 10 men and 6 women, including four alternates. Three students attending the University of Wyoming, where Shepard was a freshman studying human rights, were also seated on the jury. Defense lawyers Jason Tangeman and Dion Custis outlined their strategy in their opening statements to the jury by clearly blaming everything but the accused for the murder.

Tangeman told the jury that drugs, alcohol and past instances of sexual abuse on defendant Aaron McKinney, as well as overt sexual advances by diminutive Shepard all conspired against McKinney to commit the crime. Tangeman told the jury several instances in which McKinney, starting at age 5, had been abused by other boys. In one case, when he was 7, McKinney had been forced to perform oral sex and engage in a sexual act with another 7-year-old neighborhood bully who deemed McKinney a homosexual. Tangeman also noted a "confusing" experience at age 15 with one of McKinney’s cousins. Tangeman said the defendant was sexually abused as a child and lost control when Shepard made a pass at McKinney. Coupled with the fact that he was under the influence of drugs and alcohol, his past sexual abuse provoked the rage that lead to him beating Shepard.

Tangeman quoted McKinney’s testimony to the police: "’I don’t know what happened. I blacked out. I felt possessed. It was like I left my body.’" "It's like I could see what was going on, but somebody else was doing it, " McKinney said on the police confession tape. McKinney said he and Henderson spent the $20 they took from Shepard's wallet on "cigarettes, coke and gas in the car. Mostly the purpose was to take him home and get his wallet. " Pointing as evidence to McKinney’s intent to hurt but not kill Shepard, Tangeman again quoted a testimonial to the police by McKinney: "’I didn’t intend to kill him. I just hit him too hard.’ " On this basis McKinney’s defense admitted McKinney’s involvement and participation in the crime, even instigation of it, but instead are asked jurors not to convict on charges of first-degree murder, but instead on manslaughter which does not carry the death sentence as a penalty. "Did Matthew Shepard deserve to die? No, that’s ridiculous. No manslaughter victim deserved to die. That’s what Aaron McKinney is guilty of, manslaughter, " said Tangeman.

Tangeman outlined the events of Oct. 6, 1998 in his opening statements to the jury as such:
McKinney and Henderson went to a few local bars after work and stopped at the Fireside where they met Shepard. After buying a pitcher of beer with their change, McKinney and Henderson played pool. Eventually Shepard headed down to the bar where Henderson and McKinney were sitting. "Eventually he asks for a ride home. From the demeanor of Mr. Shepard he (McKinney) thought he was gay, " Tangeman said. "Matthew Shepard grabbed (McKinney’s) genitals and licked his ear and at that point his past trauma’s bubbled up inside him and fueled by drugs and alcohol in his own words he ‘left his body,’ " Tangeman stated. Fellow defense attorney Dion Custis further stated that Shepard, not McKinney, was the aggressor the night he died and that he sought out McKinney and Henderson for a ride. Custis suggested that Shepard was looking for a sexual partner that night and even gave McKinney a false home address while they drove. Custis said Shepard made an unwanted advance towards McKinney when he put his hands on the defendant’s groin and stuck his tongue in McKinney’s ear. These acts sent McKinney into "five minutes of rage and chaos. "

"Matt Shepard begged for his life, but McKinney gave him blow after blow, "

Prosecutor Cal Rerucha knew the "gay panic" defense was coming and counterattacked with his opening outline of the events that happened. Fireside employees will testify, "If anything stood out, it was the fragileness of Shepard, " Rerucha stated. Henderson and McKinney approached Shepard. They had talked and agreed to rob Shepard. "McKinney and Henderson picked Shepard out of the bar as an easy mark. The three left the bar in a truck, Henderson driving them out of town. Aaron said, ‘We’re not gay and you’re getting jacked,’ " Rerucha continued. McKinney then began hitting Shepard over the head with a .357-Magnum pistol. Rerucha said that when the beating started, Shepard pleaded with his attacker, telling him that while there was only $20 in his wallet, there was $150 at his home and they could have that. After stopping in a deserted field McKinney made Shepard get out of the truck. "McKinney was worried Mr. Shepard could see his license plates, " Rerucha said. Rerucha said "McKinney asked ‘Can you read my license plate?’ Matthew Shepard said, ‘Yes I can read your license’ and read it. " This further enraged McKinney who struck him three more times over the head as hard as he could, knocking him unconscious. "He read it back to me and I hit him again, " McKinney said in his taped confession to the police. "Matt Shepard begged for his life. Matt Shepard negotiated for his life, but McKinney gave him blow after blow, " Rerucha said.

Rerucha said his case would not deal with Shepard’s gay lifestyle. "It will simply be about the pain, suffering and death of Matthew Shepard at the hands of the defendant, Aaron James McKinney."

Russell Henderson's girlfriend Chastity Pasley testified at the murder trial of Aaron McKinney Thursday, October 28, 1999 saying that she and McKinney's girlfriend Kristen Price became accomplices in the crime. " (Henderson) kept telling me that it's all right. (Shepard will) be OK. " She told the court that at the time she did not know who Shepard was. Pasley went on to say that Price telephoned her in a panic when the two men stayed out late the night of the attack. "She was kind of freaking out. She said Aaron just came in and said he killed somebody. " This led to objections by the defense that the remarks were hearsay. Pasley said she had misgivings about getting involved and was "mad at myself" the next day as she, Henderson, McKinney and Price were at first going to burn (Henderson's) bloody clothes but ended up stashing them in a trash container near Cheyenne, Wyo. Police never found the clothes but did find Henderson's bloody shoes in a shed belonging to Pasley's mother. Pasley said the shoes had been hidden rather than thrown away because they were expensive. "It looked like there was flesh on the clothes, " Pasley testified about the bloody clothes. During testimony, Pasley told jurors that Henderson and McKinney got together after the beating "so they could get their stories straight. I knew that they beat somebody up and he was tied," she said. Pasley and Price also arranged to get their stories straight by at first telling police that the two women watched movies together the night of the attack and knew nothing of it. McKinney sat back in his chair at the defense table and smiled briefly when Ms. Pasley pointed to him.

According to Kristen Price, who testified shortly after Pasley, McKinney told her that "a gay guy had been hitting on him. They decided in the bathroom to pretend they were gay, get him in the truck and rob him. " Price told the jury that she was at home when McKinney, covered in blood, returned from a night out with Henderson and told her, "I think I just killed someone. " Ms. Price said she didn't think McKinney was telling the truth about the killing - "He always exaggerated so much I didn't believe him" - and that Henderson later assured her "that Aaron was just exaggerating. " Price said McKinney washed off a wallet, two driver's licenses and a voter registration, all presumable belonging to Shepard. Price also said she did not see any signs that McKinney had been using drugs that night, even though she had frequently shared methamphetamines with him in the past, though she did acknowledge that she was not in McKinney's company continuously in the hours before the attack. During direct examination by the prosecution, Price testified that McKinney had said that Shepard touched either his leg or Henderson's leg while they were in the truck. However, during cross-examination, defense had her agree that McKinney said Shepard touched his leg. Despite that concession, Price's testimony countered defense claims that McKinney did not intend to rob Shepard and that he was drunk and on drugs when he killed Shepard last October.

Judge Baron Voigt told defense attorney Dion Custis that he found no provisions in state law that allowed him to present a gay panic defense as the defense had been building. He noted unless the defense could satisfy him with the defense brief on the issue, that he would disallow testimony and evidence to support it. Voigt has called the "gay panic" defense a fraud said that someone who did not like people of a different race could kill such a person and then try to introduce evidence about his own feelings and experiences.

When defense could no longer produce an effective strategy, McKinney’s attorney’s rested their case after calling only a handful of witnesses. After deliberating 10 hours, the jury returned a verdict of felony murder, kidnapping and aggrivated robbery on Wednesday, November 3, 1999. But they found him not guilty of first degree premeditiated murder – meaning they were not convinced McKinney intended to kill Matthew Shepard. The verdict still left open the possibility of either life in prison or the death penalty.

"I will never get over Judy Shepard's capacity to forgive, "

Before the jury could hear opening arguments in McKinney’s death penalty trial, trial watchers were stunned when McKinney agreed to serve life in prison without parole and promised never to appeal his conviction, and thereby avoided the death penalty. The jury was prepared to begin hearing arguments Thursday, November 4, 1999 on whether McKinney should get the death penalty or life in prison. Instead he accepted a deal that his lawyers had proposed to prosecutors and Shepard's parents. "I will never get over Judy Shepard's capacity to forgive, " prosecutor Cal Rerucha said. Rerucha also said he found it ironic that the defense proposed the deal and asked the Shepard's to "give some relief, some type of pity to a person who had murdered their son."

Exactly why the Shepard's agreed to the deal was unclear, though it may have been to avoid years of appeals. Rerucha said the appeal process is "almost inhumane. " Dennis Shepard spoke in court Thursday to Mr. McKinney, "I would like nothing better than to see you die, Mr. McKinney, but now is the time to begin the healing process. Every time you celebrate Christmas, a birthday, or the Fourth of July, remember Matthew isn't. Every time you wake up in that prison cell, remember you had the opportunity and the ability to stop your actions that night. " "You screwed up, Mr. McKinney, " Shepard said. "You made the world realize that a person's lifestyle is not a reason for discrimination, intolerance, persecution and violence. "

As Shepard spoke, he paused at times to wipe away tears, his voice breaking. Several jurors wept, along with members of both legal teams, spectators, Shepard's mother, Judy, and friends of the Shepards. McKinney's eyes welled up as he listened. McKinney's stepsister, Afton, walked out crying, her head resting on McKinney's father's shoulder. "I really don't know what to say other than that I'm truly sorry to the entire Shepard family, " Aaron McKinney said in court. "Never will a day go by I won't be ashamed for what I have done." Dennis Shepard said his family wanted the trial to show that "this was a hate crime, pure and simple, with the added ingredient of robbery. " He also asked Congress to pass a stronger hate-crime law and said he supports the death penalty.

Since McKinney's trial ended and the gag order associated with it lifted, investigators DeBree and O'Malley have been spreading an additional message as well: there is absolutely no proof that Shepard groped McKinney as defense attorney's insisted at the trial. The investigators were able to reveal last week that in the confession Henderson made three days following his plea bargain, he said he had no awareness of Shepard having made any such move towards McKinney -- and Shepard was squeezed between the two assailants in the front seat of McKinney's father's truck at that time. Even McKinney's own taped confession, which refers at one point to Shepard grabbing at him, at another point says it was "as if he was going to" do so. Henderson's confession also details the advance planning of the robbery, his and McKinney's pretending to be gay to lure Shepard to the truck, and McKinney's attack on Shepard beginning in the truck and continuing for some minutes there before the trio reached the notorious fence. Although transported to the Albany Courthouse to testify in McKinney's trial, Henderson decided at the last minute he would not testify for either side. As for whether the attack was actually a hate crime, DeBree told "Salon" magazine that McKinney and Henderson "knew damn well (Shepard) was gay... It started out as a robbery and burglary, and I sincerely believe the other activity (the repeated pistol-whipping that killed Shepard) was because he was gay. "

We Remember Matt


During Tori Amos' fall 1998 concert's she performed and dedicated a song to Matthew shortly after his beating. No official recording exists as of this update, but bootleg copies have been circulating many online file sharing services.

In the Spring of 1999, "The Laramie Project" came to fruition on stage. A documentary play that included interviews with over 200 Laramie community members and told the story of the events leading up to Matthew's murder. The play eventually turned into a celluloid documentary airing in early 2002 on HBO featuring "The Practice's" Camryn Manheim.

In the fall of 1999, Melissa Etheridge released her enormously successful "Breakdown" album. Included among the stellar set is the song "Scarecrow," a heartfelt tribute to Matthew presented in Etheridge's distinct lyrical and musical style. In August of 2000, singer songwriter Dave Crossland a CD called "Fields of Promise" on the Appleseed Recordings folk label. Both cd's can be purchased online through CDNow. Also, visit you can visit Appleseed/David Crossland website to find out more about Appleseed, an independent and idealistic label dedicated to exploring the roots and branches of folk music and sowing the seeds of social justice through music. A percentage of Appleseed's profits are donated to environmental, human rights, and other progressive organizations.

On January 10 2001, MTV aired "Anatomy Of A Hate Crime" a movie about Matthew Shepard's few days before his murder, the crime and the result Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson trials. A poignant and powerful motion picture not to be missed by anyone unaware of the murder or sensitive to the crime.

Openly gay singer/songwriter Tom McCormack has penned a memorial song for Matt entitled "Stigmata" speaking about Matt's image as he lay tied on the wooden fence overnight in the near freezing WYo. air not unlike Christ's crucifixion.

A collection of poems recalls the emotions most felt but couldn't express hearing the horrific details of Matt's beating, torment and death. "Blood & Tears: Commemorative Poems For Matthew Shepard" recall what we felt hearing the painful detail of Matt's blood soaked face were only cleaned by the tracks of his tears.

Elton John wrote a song to commemorate the memory of Matthew's murder with the passionately recorded "American Triangle" featured on his 2001 disc "Songs From The West Coast. The track also features a guest performance by fellow out musician Rufus Wainright.

In the 2001-2002 television season, Judy Shepard partnered with NBC to produce "The Matthew Shepard Story." From Mrs. Shepard this should be the definitive telling of Matthew's story. The movie stars Stockard Channing as Judy Shepard and Shane Meier in the title role as Matthew. Although, Matthew's mother wants this to be the true telling of his story, this probably won't be the final say as breaking emotions will continue to honor Matthew's memory.